Why the FUCK do these bad-ficcers not understand the GODDAMN rules? NO CHAT-FICS means... NO FUCKING CHAT-FICS. Or did a rule change?

Speaking of rules, does the government hear the shit that's dribbling out of it's mouth when it makes new laws? Trust funds for ANIMALS?! ANIMALS?! What? Is my fish going to hop into its Honda and go to college or some-dumb-shit like that?! Who the FUCK are these guys?! I need to go kick a door in! Or... y'know... report sues..

Story Title: Ninja Chatroom ((Oh eff me in the EAR))
Culprit: The Wisher ((Why must people ALWAYS find pairings for something?))
Summary: The Naruto gang are on a chatroom. What crazy things will happen? Let the chaos begin! Rated T just to be safe. ((Just...))

Rating:
Four Kunai- Kill Yourself. Just because I FUCKING HATE CHATFICS.

Full Name(s): Supposedly the cast of Naruto(())
Species: Canon and TOS reip
Hair:
Eyes:
Markings: N/A
Possessions:

Origin: Supposedly this... Kishimoto guy
Special Connections to Canon: they CLAIM to BE canon
Speshul Abilities:

Personal Rants: And thus, my wrath concerning stupid government laws is dealt against this badfic.

NOT EDITED FOR YOUR SANITY

( Oh god I hate chat-fics.. OH GOD I HATE CHATFICS )

I'm alive everyone! Junior year is a bitch, but everything's kinda better. I've got a Naruto-loving boyfriend and my ninja spirit is fired up! >:D So here I bring you Amber, a lackluster sue that made me dizzy. Trust me, you will be too.

Also a side-note: WOW! A lot of people adding me as a friend since I was last here. I better make it worth their while! Okay! Let's go!

Story Title: suna amber ((*twitchy* lack of capitalization is not my own))
Culprit: killer-of-bakas ((Irony.. much?))
Summary: amber is a girl from suna. she cares for gaara as a friend and want to help him.but the strange thing is she looks a lot like kakashi and almost everyone notices.could she be related to kakashi somehow? she has silver hair and green eyes...gaaraXOC ((Reading this made me pretty damn dizzy))

Rating:
One Kunai- An Eyesore. A better comprehension of canon and the english language might've made it better.

Full Name(s): Amber Yoru((Yeah, SRSLY))
Species: In Need of A Paternity Test Sue
Hair: 'the wind blew her silver waist-long hair...'
Eyes: '...her green eyes squinting to see' and some paragraphs later '...eyes darkening to full black'
Markings: N/A
Possessions: wanksty backstory, Kakashi's genetics, Gaara's balls-in-a-jar (tm)

Origin: Village Hidden in the Sand?
Special Connections to Canon: Kakashi's paternity results child, Gaara's 'saviour' of sorts. Bleh
Speshul Abilities:

Personal Rants: First off... amber.. Amber.. AAAAMMMBBEEERRR. FTW. Nextly, Gaara? GAARA? WHERE'D YOU GO.

NOT EDITED FOR YOUR SANITY

( Try and find the changes in setting. I dare you )

A) I hate chatfics, B) I hate RANDOM chatfics, C) I hate random SELF-INSERT chatfics, D) today we have.... AH DAMN IT!

Story Title: Random Crap Crap indeed
Culprit: Sensei-Matsuri
Summary: The author ,meh, goes on a rampage! Naruto and the others are in it...and ED!

Rating:
One Kunai- An Eyesore. I'm just kind of in a bad mood and need a report up quick.

Full Name(s): Matsuri and Ed
Species: Stupid Insert Sues
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: N/A
Markings: N/A
Possessions:

Origin: unmentioned
Special Connections to Canon: rapez 'em
Speshul Abilities:

Personal Rants: I'm tired, I'll bring a better report later. <3


( I just... want... to kill... things... )

I remember why I try to keep the sue-fics I find to a minimum of 4-5 chapters. I can't STAND to read through all that dredge. Today's fic has one, painful chapter, but it left me giggling a little and going 'wtf'.

Story Title: Bloody Kimono …
Culprit: thatdrncat
Summary: Kakashi finds a beautiful and heavily wounded girl in the south woods of Konoha. Sparks fly, people get killed, and the girl's terrible past unfolds. ((It was almost good... bah.))

Rating:
One Kunai- An Eyesore. It could've been good, but some misplaced details ruined it nicely.

Full Name(s): Unknown
Species: Bloody Beauty Sue
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: 'intense blue eyes'
Markings: wounds and bruises like a shaken baby and gnarled fingers ((which is a welcomed changed))
Possessions: simple white kimono, which I would have to guess is said bloody one from the title

Origin: unmentioned
Special Connections to Canon: rescued by/almost taken advantage of by Kakashi, getting Iruka all hot and bothered under the collar.
Speshul Abilities: not dying of serious blood losage((crap, can't spell this morning))?

Personal Rants: So, the premise was alright. 'gnarled and beaten girl stumbles upon an unsuspecting Kakashi and faints'. Yeah, sure alright, I'll bite. But then it goes awry. Kakashi considering taking advantage of a wounded, unconcscious((really can't spell this morning)) woman? Iruka having a nosebleed instead of being stunned that someone carrying so many wounds and crap could possibly still be breathing? Bleh.


( Kakashi is a pervert, not a rapist. )

So close... yet... not...

but PLEASE. FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF GOD, DON'T LINK MY JOURNAL TO SUETHORS. It took me long enough to try and make this journal look the way it is. I don't need any kind of bad traffic killing it and ruining all my reports and shit. DON'T FUCKING LINK TO THIS JOURNAL DAMMIT.

This journal is not friends only because I'm nice. I can and WILL change should the need arise.

I'm suppose to go to the mall with some friends today, so I decided I'd update early. Came online, looked around at my sister-sue journals and found that both smsues and pottersues had found Mary-Sues with speshul glowly golden pupil rings. Which sounds kind of painful the way I put it. Anyways. scary omens aside, I bring you a diary-sue that is also a self-insert 'fall into Naruto worldzomgnowai' sue. And it kind rips off one of my original premises of ending up in an anime world... okay, enough ranting, here it is. <3

Story Title: When Fantasy Become Reality …
Culprit: xbakatare I love the little bit she put in about mary-sues. Too bad there's more than one kind of Mary-sue.
Summary: .'Oh kami sama, please let something exciting happen in my life.' That night, something unexplainably cliché happened... I WOKE UP ON A BENCH! Thus begins a new adventure for Shinri...

Rating:
Two Kunai- A Headbang. Because the characters just barely border ICness, but barely. Oh, and she called Akamaru an idiot dog. No one bad mouths Akamaru. Other than that, this is fairly bland and unappealing to my ravenous Sue-Slayer Senses. Maybe it's too early in the morning for a report.

Full Name(s): Seishuku Shinri
Species: Randomus Fall-Into Anime Sue mit ein heft (a journal)/Orphanus Sue
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: a journal

Origin: Our world, or so we're suppose to believe.
Special Connections to Canon: Roomates with Naruto, buddies with Hinata, 'hates' Neji, and lovingly tears apart the canon of team 7.
Speshul Abilities: Falling into and ripping apart perfectly good canon.

Personal Rants: By the time I got to her entry about her and Neji's fight, I was seeing red and white and stars and planets and ponies. I was mad. And Neji is way too smart to get his sexy smartass nuts kicked by this dumbass sue. I can't possibly begin to rant about how stupid this sue is. How the FUCK do you not see the damn correlation between 'Hyuuga Neji' and 'Hyuuga FUCKING Hinata'!?!? And she better not have been calling Akamaru an idiot dog... I must kill something now.


( Neji > You. Get It Right. )

Well, with ho_ofthe_day on the prowl, I suppose it's time to wake up and turn the bitchiness on high!

Story Title: 30 Ways To Make Hinata Mad One way to make ME mad. *points*
Culprit: sentbyangels13 F-KING JOY
Summary: Yes. The quite girl in the corner is about to blow. Here's 30 ways how. After reading this I realized... you can make ANYONE mad if you do these things.

Rating:

Three Kunai- Bleach-Worthy

Full Name(s): Komugi If you hadn’t guessed.
Species: Randomus Bang-Object w/ a bonus of friend sues
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: Everyone’s balls in a ziploc baggie, as far as I’m concerned.

Origin: fuck if I know.
Special Connections to Canon: wants to bang wants to date Itachi. An insanely out of character Itachi.
Speshul Abilities: Making everyont in the friggin first chapter WAY OOC.

Personal Rants: As you see, I striked all the way through (oh, and that I'm bad with HTML so I have to copy/paste from the last entry). Not so much a sue as just... THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PUTTING THIS ON FF.NET? Now, if it was written in a style that listed the way to piss her off then turned around and did as such in a small humorous chapter, then I might have overlooked it. I have a better sense of humor then the other sue-slayers. But not by much.

Just go read it.

Sorry for the long wait! I've been totally dead for a few weeks now because of school, but it is coming to a close and I'm am so excited for the year to be over. Just don't understand why it has to be so much longer now. It really. friggin. sucks. Anyways, I have done it. My first chat-fic sue and it's all for you guys. Have fun :D Oh! And check out my profile for updates and stuff!

Story Title: Itachi and Komugi I’m riddled with joy, as you can tell…
Culprit: kawaiininja201 Yes, riddled.
Summary: Itachi finds a girl that wants to be his girlfriend! Does Sasuke find true love! Read!</b> When can Itachi not find a girl who wants to bang him? It’s fucking Itachi, people!

Rating: Four Kunai- Kill Yourself Mary-sue AND a chat-fic? Lord, save us.

Full Name(s): Komugi If you hadn’t guessed.
Species: Randomus Bang-Object w/ a bonus of friend sues
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: Everyone’s balls in a ziploc baggie, as far as I’m concerned.

Origin: fuck if I know.
Special Connections to Canon: wants to bang wants to date Itachi. An insanely out of character Itachi.
Speshul Abilities: Making everyont in the friggin first chapter WAY OOC.

Personal Rants: My first chat-fic! Go me! Now I must kill myself, because this is so poor, so disgusting, so… GYAH. I can’t even stand it. I hope you guys are ready for this. It’s a DOOZY.


( The HELL is THIS?! )


*screams* SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

One last Make Up Sue, this time a sister. There are actually three, but one is focused on more than the others. So, here we go :3 Man, I wish I had more interesting things to say up here.

Story Title: Catch me if you can Author’s capitalization. And, man, that used to be a pretty cute pokemon song…
Culprit: BlackCrystleOfNight Looking at her nice repertoire of stories, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing her on repeat offender week… 96-95 sues from now.
Summary: Maye is a young beautiful girl who has a past that wasnot a thing she neverwanted... Maya,herolder brother, and hertwo young sisters live within Hidden Village of Leaf... She stronger then her older brother who is even Jounin... chapter 6 now out... But have yet to see any character’s by these names.

Rating: Two Kunai- A Headbang Because I had the phantom feeling of banging my head on my desk while reading this <3

Full Name(s): Keiko With two bonus twin sister sues, but I’m not worried about them.
Species: Siblingus Sueis
Hair: ‘The first had silver long hair that covering her left eye’
Eyes: ‘but her right eye was black as coal’ Which kind of reminds me of the chairman from Genshiken… who was totally terrifying.
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: Neji’s balls in a jar, clothing that looks like an odd mixture of Kaka-sensei’s and Naruto’s stuff, oh, and a CD player.

Origin: I dunno…
Special Connections to Canon: claims to be related to one… although by the end of one chapter ends up making the stupid typo of his name. my poor kaka-sensei.
Speshul Abilities: I dunno

Personal Rants Now, I might be bias because I love Kakashi and will terminated anything that tries to fuck around with him, but this was just… awful. Paragraphs of doom, capital letter of PURE AND OUTRIGHT ANGER, lousy random misspellings, but I only gave it two kunai because what I skimmed of the characters in the beginning seemed in character. I don’t think I could say the same for poor Neji-kun.

Why do I have the strange feeling that either… this kid REALLY can’t spell or stay in the same tense, or english isn’t her first language…


( …Hm… )

-

( Huh? When Did Neji Come Into The Picture? )

-

( What you do to my lovely Gaara? )

Story Title: Demons Among The Living.
Culprit: kakashi’sdaughter OH. MY. GOD.
Summary: Story of a girl who is cursed with 2 demons sealed inside her. i'm bad at this summary. the story's good. please read. Too bad it’s not.

Rating: Three Kunai- Bleach-Worthy At least it wasn’t a chatfic.

Full Name(s): UNKNOWN It’s not said, you have no idea how pissed I am right now.
Species: Stealius Naruto Backgroundigus
Hair: none described
Eyes: not described
Markings: none so far
Possessions: TWO DAEMONS IN HER NAVALS. OMFG

Origin: The Village Hidden In The Waterfall. Which I have just been informed, DOES EXIST.
Special Connections to Canon: has stolen Naruto’s FREAKING STORY.
Speshul Abilities: I dunno

Personal Rants You know… this one time… I watched this show. It was a lot like this story… ‘cept the demon character was a guy. He’s name was NARUTO. It’s a pretty good show… THAT ALREADY EXISTS.

( This is strangely familiar. )

~~~~~~~

( disgustingly familiar. )