SASUKE, LOOK OUT-

Now I'm Pissed

2007-01-01T23:19:16Z

Why the FUCK do these bad-ficcers not understand the GODDAMN rules? NO CHAT-FICS means... NO FUCKING CHAT-FICS. Or did a rule change?

Speaking of rules, does the government hear the shit that's dribbling out of it's mouth when it makes new laws? Trust funds for ANIMALS?! ANIMALS?! What? Is my fish going to hop into its Honda and go to college or some-dumb-shit like that?! Who the FUCK are these guys?! I need to go kick a door in! Or... y'know... report sues..

Story Title: Ninja Chatroom ((Oh eff me in the EAR))
Culprit: The Wisher ((Why must people ALWAYS find pairings for something?))
Summary: The Naruto gang are on a chatroom. What crazy things will happen? Let the chaos begin! Rated T just to be safe. ((Just...))

Rating:
Four Kunai- Kill Yourself. Just because I FUCKING HATE CHATFICS.

Full Name(s): Supposedly the cast of Naruto(())
Species: Canon and TOS reip
Hair:
Eyes:
Markings: N/A
Possessions:

Origin: Supposedly this... Kishimoto guy
Special Connections to Canon: they CLAIM to BE canon
Speshul Abilities:

Personal Rants: And thus, my wrath concerning stupid government laws is dealt against this badfic.

NOT EDITED FOR YOUR SANITY

Kakashi: Hi, Sakura, Naruto, duck butt.

revenge: I can read you know...

Kakashi: Do you own a mirror?

revenge: Hn...

Kakashi: Look at the back of your head it looks like a-

revenge: What the hel?! I have a duck's as growing in the back of my dam head!

Sasuke#1Fan: Sasuke-chan, don't worry, you just have to get a hair cut-

revenge: Are you friggin' crazy?!

Sasuke#1Fan: Sensei! Look what you did! You made Sasuke mad at me!

Kakashi: I-

ramenfox: I didn't even know you went to chatrooms!

Kakashi: I-

revenge: I have a duck's as growing in the back of my head...

Kakashi: I-

Sasuke#1Fan: Baka!

ramenfox: Teme!

revenge: Dobe!

Kakashi: I...gotta go...

I Live!

2007-01-01T19:48:41Z

I'm alive everyone! Junior year is a bitch, but everything's kinda better. I've got a Naruto-loving boyfriend and my ninja spirit is fired up! >:D So here I bring you Amber, a lackluster sue that made me dizzy. Trust me, you will be too.

Also a side-note: WOW! A lot of people adding me as a friend since I was last here. I better make it worth their while! Okay! Let's go!

Story Title: suna amber ((*twitchy* lack of capitalization is not my own))
Culprit: killer-of-bakas ((Irony.. much?))
Summary: amber is a girl from suna. she cares for gaara as a friend and want to help him.but the strange thing is she looks a lot like kakashi and almost everyone notices.could she be related to kakashi somehow? she has silver hair and green eyes...gaaraXOC ((Reading this made me pretty damn dizzy))

Rating:
One Kunai- An Eyesore. A better comprehension of canon and the english language might've made it better.

Full Name(s): Amber Yoru((Yeah, SRSLY))
Species: In Need of A Paternity Test Sue
Hair: 'the wind blew her silver waist-long hair...'
Eyes: '...her green eyes squinting to see' and some paragraphs later '...eyes darkening to full black'
Markings: N/A
Possessions: wanksty backstory, Kakashi's genetics, Gaara's balls-in-a-jar (tm)

Origin: Village Hidden in the Sand?
Special Connections to Canon: Kakashi's ~~paternity results~~ child, Gaara's 'saviour' of sorts. Bleh
Speshul Abilities:

Personal Rants: First off... amber.. Amber.. AAAAMMMBBEEERRR. FTW. Nextly, Gaara? GAARA? WHERE'D YOU GO.

NOT EDITED FOR YOUR SANITY

"what do you think gaara, you saw them looking at me strangly right?" gaara nodded as they walked into a bar. they were currently searching for thier stupid sensei. "i was going to ask them why they were staring at me like that." she looked around at the people in the bar. no sign of baki. "hey, before your mom died she told you your father was a konaha ninja right." gaara asked as they walked out of the bar and going into the next. amber grimised at the memory.

---------flashback---------

amber held her moms hand as her mom smiled at her sweetly. "amber, sweety, get some sleep. you havn't slept for three days now." amber shook her head. "no! i'm not going to leave your side. if i do, you'll die!" amber cluched her mothers hand tighter. her mom smiled at the floor. amber watched her mothers dull green eyes. just to think they where brite and shining a few days ago. her mother sighed and looked back at amber.

"amber, nothing you do will stop what is bound to happen. i'm not going to be here very long. i know you're still young but try and understand what i'm saying." "mommy, don't talk like that please!" amber begged silently to her mother. "amber, i know i've never spoke to you about your father but i was hoping you would be 15 not 7. your father is a konaha ninja. he was here on a mission and got hurt. i was a nurse at the time so i was looking after him. we soon started talking and then one night, we made you. i always thought of you as his leaving gift to me. i wanted him to come back so i wrote him a letter telling him he had a child, but...i never herd of saw him after that day." amber looked at her mother, her eyes where a dark red as her mother told her this. she never met her father but hated him. even if she only saw pictures. "don't be mad at him, amber. we were both young and foolish. he just wasn't ready to be a father yet..." amber noticed her mothers hand was getting colder every minute. "amber, if you ever meet him, tell...him...i..." her hand loosened and started to slip out of ambers but she gripped it again. "mommy? hey, stop playing! mommy! it's not funny! wake up! get up! stop that mommy! mommy! mommy! mommy!!!" amber was yelling at the top of her lungs trying to get her mother to stop and wake up again. she relised her mom wasn't playing and screamed as hard and loud as she could. everyone in suna could hear her scraeming. her butler came in and had to pull the bawling child away from her mothers body.

---------end flashback---------

"yeah." she said looking around. still no sign. "do you know his name?" she nodded slightly and scaned the next bar, "his name is hatake kakashi." she spotted baki drunk as hell and talking to a girl. " i found him." she hopped up on the nearest table and started walking on the tables over to baki. gaara sighed and fallowed her on the ground. she loomed over the drunk jounin. "what is wrong with you?" she asked lowly. he looked at her with the pink tints on his cheeks. "hey, you're purty cute." he slurred at her. she sighed and hit the back of his neck nocking him out. "must you walk on the tables?" gaara asked as he grabbed his other arm. amber just smiled and with gaaras help carried baki to the motel they got.

with naruto,sasuke, and sakura

"did you see that suna girl?" sasuke asked looking at the other two." she looks so muck like kakashi-sensei!" sakura said and naruto nodded. "thats odd. you think she's kakashi's daughter?" sasuke pondered outloud. "but how could she be his kid? he never told us he had a kid. he doesn't even have a girlfriend!" naruto stated. "he's right, sasuke-kun. and the girls from suna to!"

back at the motel room

amber looked out the window, dark already. temari was tending to baki, kankuro was watching TV, and amber couldn't find gaara. she looked at the half moon and gimised. after a while, temari got tired and forced kankuro to go to bed and didn't even bother to bug amber. amber stared out the window until the clock struck midnight. she wasn't sleepy so she decided to check the roof. sure enough, gaara was there.

she walked up and sat next to gaara. "shouldn't you be sleeping?" gaara asked not bothering to look at her. he knew it was her already, "i couldn't sleep." she looked at the moon again. "i don't see why you would hang around a monster like me" garra said coldly. she looked at him eyes widened slightly. "everyone runs from me because i'm a monster." amber looked at him more softly now. "gaara, you're not a monster. true there's a monster inside you, but thats your fathers fault not yours." she moved closer to him and put her arms around the side of his neck hugging him slightly. "you're not a monster to me, you're my best friend gaara. even if you reject me, i'll always be there for you. even if you don't want me to be." gaaras eyes widened but regained their normal shape again. "but why me?" he asked her coldly again. "why? because i'm always happy around you. i don't want you to always be cold to other people. you're nicer to me than other people but...i want to save you from the darkness. because friends help other friends." gaara placed his hand on her arm causing her to smile slightly.

Not Again

2006-08-11T22:18:35Z

A) I hate chatfics, B) I hate RANDOM chatfics, C) I hate random SELF-INSERT chatfics, D) today we have.... AH DAMN IT!

Story Title: Random Crap Crap indeed
Culprit: Sensei-Matsuri
Summary: The author ,meh, goes on a rampage! Naruto and the others are in it...and ED!

Rating:
One Kunai- An Eyesore. I'm just kind of in a bad mood and need a report up quick.

Full Name(s): Matsuri and Ed
Species: Stupid Insert Sues
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: N/A
Markings: N/A
Possessions:

Origin: unmentioned
Special Connections to Canon: rapez 'em
Speshul Abilities:

Personal Rants: I'm tired, I'll bring a better report later. <3

Matsuri: I know that! I just want the music note on my head thingy!

Naruto: ninja hitai-ate.

Matsuri: Whatever! Who’s telling the story? Hm, I think I’ll throw Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Ino, Kiba…”

Naruto: there’s already a story about throwing characters into a box room. But with FMA characters.

Matsuri: Gah! I could have lived my life without knowing that! Ok I’ll make Naruto fight Kiba, and Sakura fight Ino…

Naruto: That actually happens in the book.

Matsuri: ‘turns and give evil glair’ I’m the author and I can do anything I want. ‘Points finger at Naruto’

Naruto: ‘fighting position’ Feh, try me.

Matsuri: ‘smiles, the floor under Naruto opens up and he falls down screaming.’

Now where was I?

Sasuke: ‘Sasuke appears’ Where am I?

Matsuri: Now what! ‘Turns’

Sasuke: Excuse me but where am I?

Matsuri: Are you a dunce! This is my story!

I Remember.... I Remember....

2006-08-10T15:36:00Z

I remember why I try to keep the sue-fics I find to a minimum of 4-5 chapters. I can't STAND to read through all that dredge. Today's fic has one, painful chapter, but it left me giggling a little and going 'wtf'.

Story Title: Bloody Kimono …
Culprit: thatdrncat
Summary: Kakashi finds a beautiful and heavily wounded girl in the south woods of Konoha. Sparks fly, people get killed, and the girl's terrible past unfolds. ((It was almost good... bah.))

Rating:
One Kunai- An Eyesore. It could've been good, but some misplaced details ruined it nicely.

Full Name(s): Unknown
Species: Bloody Beauty Sue
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: 'intense blue eyes'
Markings: wounds and bruises like a shaken baby and gnarled fingers ((which is a welcomed changed))
Possessions: simple white kimono, which I would have to guess is said bloody one from the title

Origin: unmentioned
Special Connections to Canon: rescued by/almost taken advantage of by Kakashi, getting Iruka all hot and bothered under the collar.
Speshul Abilities: not dying of serious blood losage((crap, can't spell this morning))?

Personal Rants: So, the premise was alright. 'gnarled and beaten girl stumbles upon an unsuspecting Kakashi and faints'. Yeah, sure alright, I'll bite. But then it goes awry. Kakashi considering taking advantage of a wounded, unconcscious((really can't spell this morning)) woman? Iruka having a nosebleed instead of being stunned that someone carrying so many wounds and crap could possibly still be breathing? Bleh.

Kakashi didn't know what to do. There, in front of him, was a bleeding angel, struggling to breathe. She was a bit exposed, and that set Kakashi off. ((t3h fuck?)) He could have taken advantage of her, but he didn't have time to think about that right now. He had to get her somewhere safe, and fast. He didn't know whether or not the people who did this were still in the woods. He picked her up, and noticed a huge gash on her side. She moaned softly, and he had to fight the urge to violate her again.((Kakashi has better things to do than rape some anonymous domestic violence victim, like perhaps... read his book?)) She opened her eyes and with the same intensity, tried to wrench away. Kakashi knew that he would probably pay for it later, put he pushed a pressure point on her neck, rendering her unconscious again.

So close... yet... not...

I Was Hoping This Wouldn't Happen

2006-08-10T03:04:40Z

but PLEASE. FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF GOD, DON'T LINK MY JOURNAL TO SUETHORS. It took me long enough to try and make this journal look the way it is. I don't need any kind of bad traffic killing it and ruining all my reports and shit. DON'T FUCKING LINK TO THIS JOURNAL DAMMIT.

This journal is not friends only because I'm nice. I can and WILL change should the need arise.

At Least She's Not All Special Eyed And Shit...

2006-08-09T15:15:37Z

I'm suppose to go to the mall with some friends today, so I decided I'd update early. Came online, looked around at my sister-sue journals and found that both smsues and pottersues had found Mary-Sues with speshul glowly golden pupil rings. Which sounds kind of painful the way I put it. Anyways. scary omens aside, I bring you a diary-sue that is also a self-insert 'fall into Naruto worldzomgnowai' sue. And it kind rips off one of my original premises of ending up in an anime world... okay, enough ranting, here it is. <3

Story Title: When Fantasy Become Reality …
Culprit: xbakatare I love the little bit she put in about mary-sues. Too bad there's more than one kind of Mary-sue.
Summary: .'Oh kami sama, please let something exciting happen in my life.' That night, something unexplainably cliché happened... I WOKE UP ON A BENCH! Thus begins a new adventure for Shinri...

Rating:
Two Kunai- A Headbang. Because the characters just barely border ICness, but barely. Oh, and she called Akamaru an idiot dog. No one bad mouths Akamaru. Other than that, this is fairly bland and unappealing to my ravenous Sue-Slayer Senses. Maybe it's too early in the morning for a report.

Full Name(s): Seishuku Shinri
Species: Randomus Fall-Into Anime Sue mit ein heft (a journal)/Orphanus Sue
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: a journal

Origin: Our world, or so we're suppose to believe.
Special Connections to Canon: Roomates with Naruto, buddies with Hinata, 'hates' Neji, and lovingly tears apart the canon of team 7.
Speshul Abilities: Falling into and ripping apart perfectly good canon.

Personal Rants: By the time I got to her entry about her and Neji's fight, I was seeing red and white and stars and planets and ponies. I was mad. And Neji is way too smart to get his sexy smartass nuts kicked by this dumbass sue. I can't possibly begin to rant about how stupid this sue is. How the FUCK do you not see the damn correlation between 'Hyuuga Neji' and 'Hyuuga FUCKING Hinata'!?!? And she better not have been calling Akamaru an idiot dog... I must kill something now.

I suppose I could practice targets. If I throw a kunai, wouldn’t it be like throwing darts? They have similar shape but a dart is way, way lighter. This is silly to think about. Why, throwing CD’s could be compared to throwing shurikens.

I needed to clear my mind outside. I’m going out to write. Fresh air would o me some good. I’m on top of a tree. I wonder if any of this is really real. Someone has interrupted my thoughts for the hundredth time today.

It was a pupil-less eyed boy who looked older than me. “Hey you, stop spying on me.”

“Oh pul-lease,” I retorted in a snotty way. “Now why would I spy on you? What’s so great about you anyway?”

I regret not watching this anime much before now. I know so little about it. Someone explain to me, who the hell is this guy?

He snuck up behind me, after I slammed this book shut. Of course, I wouldn’t want anyone to know about my day and thoughts. He stole my journal.

He stole it and proposed we fight for it. Yeah, real gentleman-like.

“State your name,” he commanded.

“Isn’t it common courtesy to give out your name before asking another’s?”

“Hyuuga Neji.”

“Seishuku Shinri”

You see, this is the side of me that I wished to be. Not scared to speak my mind, bold, and being free. Too bad this is happening in a fight or this would be a wondrous eye-opener for me. I’m guessing this is like a fist fight or to the ninja’s hand-in-hand combat.

Out of surprise with his speed he pinned me down with his arm against my neck while my back was being pushed into a tree. I did what a normal girl would do. Yes, I kicked his nuts. He dropped onto the floor and I grabbed my journal and walked. I didn’t need to run because with that kick, he’d most likely hold a grudge.

Now that I look back at it, it wasn’t the smartest thing to do.

A Fanfic, This is Not.

2006-08-08T01:28:44Z

Well, with ho_ofthe_day on the prowl, I suppose it's time to wake up and turn the bitchiness on high!

Story Title: 30 Ways To Make Hinata Mad One way to make ME mad. *points*
Culprit: sentbyangels13 F-KING JOY
Summary: Yes. The quite girl in the corner is about to blow. Here's 30 ways how. After reading this I realized... you can make ANYONE mad if you do these things.

Rating:

Three Kunai- Bleach-Worthy

Full Name(s): Komugi If you hadn’t guessed.
Species: Randomus Bang-Object w/ a bonus of friend sues
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: Everyone’s balls in a ziploc baggie, as far as I’m concerned.

Origin: fuck if I know.
Special Connections to Canon: ~~wants to bang~~ wants to date Itachi. An insanely out of character Itachi.
Speshul Abilities: Making everyont in the friggin first chapter WAY OOC.

Personal Rants: As you see, I striked all the way through (oh, and that I'm bad with HTML so I have to copy/paste from the last entry). Not so much a sue as just... THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PUTTING THIS ON FF.NET? Now, if it was written in a style that listed the way to piss her off then turned around and did as such in a small humorous chapter, then I might have overlooked it. ~~I have a better sense of humor then the other sue-slayers.~~ But not by much.

Just go read it.

I'm Baaaaack

2006-04-19T22:19:51Z

Sorry for the long wait! I've been totally dead for a few weeks now because of school, but it is coming to a close and I'm am so excited for the year to be over. Just don't understand why it has to be so much longer now. It really. friggin. sucks. Anyways, I have done it. My first chat-fic sue and it's all for you guys. Have fun :D Oh! And check out my profile for updates and stuff!

Story Title: Itachi and Komugi I’m riddled with joy, as you can tell…
Culprit: kawaiininja201 Yes, riddled.
Summary: Itachi finds a girl that wants to be his girlfriend! Does Sasuke find true love! Read!</b> When can Itachi not find a girl who wants to bang him? It’s fucking Itachi, people!

Rating: Four Kunai- Kill Yourself Mary-sue AND a chat-fic? Lord, save us.

Full Name(s): Komugi If you hadn’t guessed.
Species: Randomus Bang-Object w/ a bonus of friend sues
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: Everyone’s balls in a ziploc baggie, as far as I’m concerned.

Origin: fuck if I know.
Special Connections to Canon: ~~wants to bang~~ wants to date Itachi. An insanely out of character Itachi.
Speshul Abilities: Making everyont in the friggin first chapter WAY OOC.

Personal Rants: My first chat-fic! Go me! Now I must kill myself, because this is so poor, so disgusting, so… GYAH. I can’t even stand it. I hope you guys are ready for this. It’s a DOOZY.

Itachi: (humming a strange tune)

Kisame: Itachi-sama, when and what should we do for our next plan? (A/N: to me right now, Twdwfi is really stupid! BAKA!)

Komugi (known as my sister): ITAAAAACCCHHIIII-SAAAAMMMMAAAA!

Itachi: What the f-!

Yen: Muhahahaha! Now I have caught you, Itachi-chan! (A/N: Yen calls Itachi “Itachi-chan” because she thinks he’s really stupid and is childish! )

Mizuki: Yen-sama! (Running breathlessly) Waiiitt upppp….!

Yen: (turns and sees her beloved Sasuke instead) SAAAASSSUUUKKEEE-KKKUUUNNN!

Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto and Hinata comes over to see what’s with the noise…

Komugi: (dearly hugging Itachi) Itachi-sama! Itachi-sama!

Itachi: (sweat drop)

Sasuke: HAH ITACHI! We meet again! (Then sees beautiful Yen standing by in a sakura petal blowing background… O.o)

Sakura: Sasuke-kun… OMG NOOOOO! He’s falling in love with that pretty ugly raven haired idiot!

Sasuke and Yen has begun to have love at first sight! (Heart eyed)

Mizuki, Kiba, and our precious Akamaru have come to the rescue!

Itachi: What the do you want from me!

Komugi: (does that weird finger thing Hinata does) Emm… well… (Whispers in Itachi’s ear)

Itachi: (ruffles hair) So… ya want to be my “mate”? (When he means by “mate he means girlfriend…)

Komugi: (Nod nod)

*screams* SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

naruto_marysues @ 2006-03-15T12:29:00

2006-03-15T18:31:27Z

One last Make Up Sue, this time a sister. There are actually three, but one is focused on more than the others. So, here we go :3 Man, I wish I had more interesting things to say up here.

Story Title: Catch me if you can Author’s capitalization. And, man, that used to be a pretty cute pokemon song…
Culprit: BlackCrystleOfNight Looking at her nice repertoire of stories, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing her on repeat offender week… 96-95 sues from now.
Summary: Maye is a young beautiful girl who has a past that wasnot a thing she neverwanted... Maya,herolder brother, and hertwo young sisters live within Hidden Village of Leaf... She stronger then her older brother who is even Jounin... chapter 6 now out... But have yet to see any character’s by these names.

Rating: Two Kunai- A Headbang Because I had the phantom feeling of banging my head on my desk while reading this <3

Full Name(s): Keiko With two bonus twin sister sues, but I’m not worried about them.
Species: Siblingus Sueis
Hair: ‘The first had silver long hair that covering her left eye’
Eyes: ‘but her right eye was black as coal’ Which kind of reminds me of the chairman from Genshiken… who was totally terrifying.
Markings: Ah, none so far.
Possessions: Neji’s balls in a jar, clothing that looks like an odd mixture of Kaka-sensei’s and Naruto’s stuff, oh, and a CD player.

Origin: I dunno…
Special Connections to Canon: claims to be related to one… although by the end of one chapter ends up making the stupid typo of his name. my poor kaka-sensei.
Speshul Abilities: I dunno

Personal Rants Now, I might be bias because I love Kakashi and will terminated anything that tries to fuck around with him, but this was just… awful. Paragraphs of doom, capital letter of PURE AND OUTRIGHT ANGER, lousy random misspellings, but I only gave it two kunai because what I skimmed of the characters in the beginning seemed in character. I don’t think I could say the same for poor Neji-kun.

Why do I have the strange feeling that either… this kid REALLY can’t spell or stay in the same tense, or english isn’t her first language…

“Okay… Um… Please introduce yourselves. “Umino Iruka asked them. The twins nod yes. “HELLO! I am Lilly and this is my sister Milly!” The girl with the hair down said loud really loudly. Nothing came out the silver haired girl’s mouth. “Who are you sweetie?” Iruka asked with a sweat drop. Still Nothing came out of her mouth but her music got louder. “Big Sis! Our new teacher wants to know your name!” Lilly screams at their sister. The silver haired girl look at her little sister with what did you say look. “I SAID THE TEACHER WANTS TO KNOW YOUR NAME!” Milly screams at her big sister. “oh okay my name is Keiko.” The silver haired girl said. ‘She doesn’t even look strong! She look just like Sasake… Cool and calm…It makes me sick!’ Naruto thought to himself. “Okay Keiko… I see you have the top grade is your other class… So lets put Keiko next to-“

-

“Neji!” Keiko screams as she opens the window to see Neji right there looking straight at her naked body which is nowcovered with a black towel. Neji smirks at her reaction and said “What? I can’t look at my girlfriend’s naked body.” “Do you know what my parents will do to you?” She asked him. “Yes I do… But did you leave me?” Neji asked with a serious look on his face. “My brother and father did it… I have nothing to do with it.” Keiko said as she opens the screen so he could come in. “For 5 years and 3 months… Me and you are still girlfriend and boyfriend… Someday we are going to fight each other you know that… My love…” Neji said putting both of his hands on her waist. “Oh Neji… You are the same kid that I meet along time ago …” Keiko said putting and arms around his neck and coming closer.

-

"One minute did you guys hear that?" Sakura said looking at way they came from. Then she remember what happens. "Hear what?" Naruto said all clueless. Sasuke took a step away for Sakura, and Naruto. Suddenly a large dust came from behind for Keiko who looked pissed off. "Oh man!" Naruto screams shaking with fear. "YOU OWE MY SISTERS TWO PREFECTLY GOOD CUPS OF BEEF RAMAN!" Keiko screams as she grabs him by the colar and starts to beat the stuffing out of Naruto. "Ouch! AW! AW!" Naruto screams in pain. Then she throws him pass the red haired boy and face first right into the fence. "YOU LITTLE PUNK!" She yells at him. Then she started to walk away calmly. The question that came out of Sasuke "What did you do this time nuisance?" "How am I surpose to know you jerk!" Naruto yells as he tries to pull his head out of the fence." Sakura whispers to Sasuke what she thinks happened. "Girl who are you?" The red haired boy said as looks at the back of Keiko. She stopped where she was. Keiko glances at the boy and she shugs her shoulders and turns around. Sakura grabs Keiko's headphones off of her head and said "The boy with the red hair ask for your name..." "Oh Okay... I am Keiko Hatake..." Keiko said as she grabs her headphones out of Sakura's grasp. "One minute! SHE RELATED TO KAKASHI!" Sakura, and Naruto yells in shock. "Well it so easy to guess... I'm his little sister. Even Sasuke knew before you two." Keiko said as she signs. The red glace at me and nods start to walk away from them. "What's your name?" Sasuke said with a determined look on his face. "Who? me?" The blonde hair female asked pointing to herself as she blushed. "No. The one who asked Keiko for her name without even telling his name...Still he's quiet interesting." Sasuke said point at the red haired boy with the gourd on his back. "Oh I didn't know you were gay..." Keiko laughs. "I am not gay." Sasuke growls at her. "Are you happy?" She asked him. Sasuke just gives Keiko one of those 'What the heck! Does it look like I'm freakn' Happy.' look. 'I know him for somewhere but where?' Keiko thought as hard. "My name is Gaara of the desert... At your service...I interested in you and Keiko..." He said glancing at me and Sasuke back and forth. "Sasuke Uchiha.." He said smirk with pleasure. Gaara lookfor the last time basely on Keiko and lick his lips. 'Gross...' Keiko thought. "Tonight I am sleeping in my clubhouse. No matter what..."Keiko said to herself as she disappear into thin air.

naruto_marysues @ 2006-03-14T21:42:00

2006-03-15T03:44:11Z

Story Title: Demons Among The Living.
Culprit: kakashi’sdaughter OH. MY. GOD.
Summary: Story of a girl who is cursed with 2 demons sealed inside her. i'm bad at this summary. the story's good. please read. Too bad it’s not.

Rating: Three Kunai- Bleach-Worthy At least it wasn’t a chatfic.

Full Name(s): UNKNOWN It’s not said, you have no idea how pissed I am right now.
Species: Stealius Naruto Backgroundigus
Hair: none described
Eyes: not described
Markings: none so far
Possessions: TWO DAEMONS IN HER NAVALS. OMFG

Origin: The Village Hidden In The Waterfall. Which I have just been informed, DOES EXIST.
Special Connections to Canon: has stolen Naruto’s FREAKING STORY.
Speshul Abilities: I dunno

Personal Rants You know… this one time… I watched this show. It was a lot like this story… ‘cept the demon character was a guy. He’s name was NARUTO. It’s a pretty good show… THAT ALREADY EXISTS.

My life has been nothing but a disaster from the start. I mean for crying out loud, I’ve had demons sealed in side me since the day I was born. Not exactly the life you’d want for your child. Then again, my parent’s were never around to see me grow up. My mother died in child birth. My father, well, lets just say that he’s the one who did the sealing. Then died afterwards. I grew up with my brothers. My older brother Eric, and my twin brother Cole. Eric was only 4 when mom and dad had died. At least he got to know them. From what we know of, we have no known relatives, so we live with my ‘friend’ since birth, Luke, and his family. His father being the head ninja of our little village, hidden in the waterfall. How’s that to say, “So, who are your parents?” “Oh, well my dad was the lord Hokage (Sorry if that’s wrong, please correct me!), and he and my mom are dead. So his best friend’s family took me in. Oh, and now he’s the new head honcho(SP?)” yeah, that’s a mouthful. I don’t really talk that much. So why the hell I’m writing this I have no idea. I couldn’t agree more.

~~~~~~~

So, yeah, that’s my birth. From that day forward, I was shunned, feared ,and hated. No one cared about me, excluding my brothers. No one wanted to be within a mile of me, let alone look at me. It sucks. No one treated me who my father wanted me to be treated. Like a hero. Someone who had saved the village, had saved their lifes. But that’s all over now. I’m a gennin now, and now I’m off to the Chunin Exmas in Konoha. Were no one knows me. Doesn’t bother me. Maybe if I get bored enough I’ll get to kill someone. Turns outs I did end up in the same cell as my father’s friend’s son, Luke, and my brother, Cole. Eric’s in an older cell, with Luke’s older brother, Yoshi, and a guy named R.J. We’re all headed to the Chunin Exams. Who knows what will happen…

naruto_marysues @ 2006-03-14T20:56:00

2006-03-15T02:58:01Z

Make up Sue nummer eins. She's a childhood friend figure. Not too fleshed out, but I'm just trying to fill a quota is all.

Story Title: Hello, Old Friend.
Culprit: AngelSakura14
Summary: No kid in their right mind would ever talk to Naruto except for Madoka Kantou, who disappeared. Now Madoka's back in Konoha to reunite with Naruto and have adventures of her own, and what's a little adventure without sparks flying.. Too bad everyone talks to Naruto.

Rating:One Kunai- An Eyesore It was almost good.

Full Name(s):Madoka Kantou
Species: Friendicus Sueis
Hair: ‘short jet black hair tied to the back on the side of her head’
Eyes: ‘set her violet eyes on the entrance of Konoha’
Markings: none so far
Possessions: a headband dealie

Origin: Konoha, supposedly
Special Connections to Canon: connected to all of them so far.
Speshul Abilities: none mentioned

Personal Rants this would have almost been good… but it just wasn’t…. it’s a little hard to read at places because I have no idea who’s talkin’.

They both walked in the class and saw that everyone was talking to each other. Hinata noticed them and unfortunately thought they were together which made her a little sad. Naruto took her over to Sakura who was drooling over Sasuke who as usual didn’t care what she did.
“Hey you guys, remember Madoka?” Sakura turned and saw her smiling.
“Oh my god! Kantou Madoka!”
“The one and only!” Sakura screamed with joy and hugged her who of course hugged back. Sasuke saw her there but still couldn’t recognize her. Hinata blinked with surprise finally recognizing her.
“It’s been so long Madoka-chan! How have you been?”
“I’ve been fine and you’re looking good yourself!” She said a friendly hello to Sasuke who just nodded without a smile. Eventually all three Naruto, Sakura and Madoka started talking about what was new. Sasuke looked like a part of the group but he was just merely listening. Hinata finally noticed that Naruto and Madoka were just friends which gave her great relief.
A little later Ino walked in and noticed Sakura was talking with someone ‘new’ not recognizing Madoka yet and what’s this? Sasuke part of this group without her! She couldn’t stand this. Ino eavesdropped long enough to learn that the new girl was Madoka!
“Oh my! Is that Madoka!” Everyone even Sasuke turned to see Ino giving a ‘friendly’ smile. Madoka immediately recognized it was Ino and their past was definitely not the best.
“Hi Ino how’s it going?”
“Madoka you’re looking VERY well. Much better than big forehead here.” Sakura muttered ‘Ino pig’ under her breath which ignored. She looked at Sasuke.
“Listen I want to borrow her for a moment so I can show everyone, can I?” Madoka was upset at this.

Just Five More Minutes.....

2006-03-13T19:05:56Z

Terribly sorry for the lack of sue-age over the weekend. Saturday I was plagued with a crippling headache which made virutally impossible to read anything. The pain was so excruciating that I decided it had to be the work of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's minions using Crucio on me from afar. Hoping that it would be Barty Crouch Jr. by some amazing miracle of anti-canon, I raced outside to see who it possibly be. I saw no one, so I gave a very convincing 'I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! COME OUT YOU COWARD!', and to my surprise comes Draco Malfoy, wand brandished. I was in shock! The Draco Malfoy was standing before me, challenging me! So I pulled out my wand, a 12 inch oak with a phoenix feather, and we began to duel. In the end...

Okay, so it wasn't that bad. But my head did hurt all day. It really sucked.

Sunday, I was invited to dinner at China Star with a friend (yesterday was her birthday). Then we went over to Hastings, rented a couple of animes and bought Star Ocean: Till The End of Time. Played over at her house, came over to my house, played/watched DVDs and then went to bed and here I am now. :3

So, anyways, she's still over... :D and we're gonna go look at ~~PORN~~ ~~YAOI~~ ~~SATANISM~~...... stuff. I shall bring you TWO Mary-sues later today. <3

TAAAAAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSs

2006-03-11T02:29:31Z

How lucky am I? avatarsues comments in my journal and now I've found my first Taco Show! *praise*

Story Title: Naru Uzumaki A taco show on the third day? Diversity is alive and well!
Culprit: lilsarge
Summary: Naru Uzumaki isn't your average 13 year old for sure. Sure, she has a large fortune, the hell with it. But she also houses a mysterious power deep within herself which could destroy her world. Taco show!

Rating:Two Kunai- A Headbang

Full Name(s):Naru Uzumaki
Species: Tacu Shuw
Hair: ‘blond with two pigtails which were long’
Eyes: I would have to geuss blue
Markings: the little whisker markings perhaps?
Possessions: none mentioned, bar the TACO. TACUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Origin: Konoha?
Special Connections to Canon: claims to be the female version of one.
Speshul Abilities: none mentioned

Personal Rants TACUUU SHUUUUUUUUUUW

WARNING: THIS IS THE WHOLE FIRST CHAPTER. NOT EDITED FOR YOUR SAFETY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
Uzumaki Naru: A girls adventureWalking down the street, a blond with two pigtails which were long, walked to her best friend, Sakura’s house. It felt so weird though. For this girl wasn’t normal and she was very special in many ways. Naru is her name. Uzumaki Naru. Wearing a school uniform since the first day of school began on a Friday, therefore making it now the weekend. Sakura and Ino, were both her best friends when it came to when they were wee little kids.All together though, she was troubled deeply. Naru never had any parents as they both died. She owned her own company she inherited from her father, Chou Uzumaki. Her mother died while in child birth and her father walked out on her when she was 3 so she couldn’t remember. Sure, just because she had a large fortune with her, many people thought that she was snobby, mean, and spoiled. She lived with her aunt Tsunade who worked as a professional Doctor/Surgeon who usually came home at late hours and woke up at early hours. Naru herself once called her a robot. Get up, work, come home and sleep. She did the same thing everyday except on the weekends. Then she would mess around with Naru and her friends on weekends and make them watch movies that would make a 40 year old even cry. That’s pretty sad. She could be a bit of a workaholic BUT Tsunade was like a dream mother to Naru. She could always lift the mood of an awkward moment but that was cool. Her motto was ‘As long as you don’t get pregnant and do crack go figure.’ Just thinking about that made the blond laugh. Sometimes life could be hard but a simple thing as laughing can change everything. She skipped the rest of the way down the street that was Sakura’s and knocked on the door with a smile. Sakura’s mother answered the door with a knowing smile and opened the door. Welcoming her in, Naru stepped out of her school shoes and walked to Sakura’s room. She cleared her throat and intimidated Sakura’s mother’s voice. Acting like something happened and shrieking, Sakura whooshed through the door quickly, along with Ino following behind. Sakura’s mother smiled again and continued washing the dishes with a knowing smile. Naru would do everything in the world before she actually knocked on the pink haired girl’s door. Literally. Naru just loved surprising people like Sakura. They were easy targets and easily scared. The girls all laughed and walked back in Sakura’s room, closing the door behind them.

Random!

2006-03-10T01:56:57Z

This one's crazy. It's random, and Sakura borders on whore. Great.

Story Title: Another Surviving Uchiha? It’s like trying to kill roaches.
Culprit: Rikushoho Nin
Summary: During class, they find another surviving member of the Uchiha clan! Pairings : SasuSaku SakuNaru SakuIta New! SeiyaKisu Pairing! Please R&R … the overuse of ‘they’ makes me cry.

Rating:Two Kunai- A Headbang

Full Name(s):Uchiha Seiya Itachi and Sasuke. Only Uchihas who survived. Period.
Species: Survivorus Stuis with a mix of Randomus Cupido
Hair: not mentioned
Eyes: not mentioned
Markings: Sharingan in his eyes
Possessions:A sharigan, some random pointless smut-talismans, and ‘a katana full of blood on it’ Yeah.

Origin: The Uchiha Survival Camp, I suppose.
Special Connections to Canon: another survivor of the Uchiha Clan whose sole purpose so far has been to make Sakura make-out with everyone..
Speshul Abilities: total smut powahz

Personal Rants My first stu! On only my second day! And it’s an Uchiha clone! Man, am I good. This is so random it hurts!

Everyone ran outside to see what the ruckus was. There was a person standing outside with a katana full of blood on it. He then noticed everyone, so then, he threw some seals in front of the shocked crowd. Then, he drew his sword and slashed away causing a huge explosion (the crowd of people were protected by the seals). “W-who are you?” Naruto asked. “Me? I’m Uchiha Seiya.” Everyone gasped, but especially Sasuke. Only then, did everyone notice he had the Sharingan Eye.
Later, Seiya met up with Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura. “Why are you here?” Sakura asked, somehow developing a small crush on Seiya.because, you know, Sakura loves the ENTIRE FRIGGIN UCHIHA CLAN. “I just thought I’d pay a friendly visit to my little brother. “Impossible, only Itachi and I survived after he destroyed the whole clan.” Seiya simply smirked. “Sasuke, I wasn’t there at that time, I had a mission to do for the ANBU.” Naruto responded (this being the only thing he said today), “Wait, you’re part of the ANBU?” “Yes I am, since age 2.” Everyone’s jaw dropped. *raises hand* BS! I call full-blown BULLSHIT.

“Naruto! What are you doing!” Sakura asks as she sees the garden is destroyed. Suddenly, Sakura noticed his face was full of anger and a weird seal was placed on his forehead. “Seiya, what’s going on?” She asked puzzled seeing that Seiya had that same mark on his forehead. “He is now part of the Hakusegi Clan, the most powerful clan from the Hidden Shadow Village,” replied Seiya. Then Sakura remembered reading about the Hidden Shadow Village Hakusegi Clan. They had a curse or something, but she couldn’t remember the rest. “I thought you were from the Leaf Village! You’re an Uchiha,” Sakura yelled. Seiya just grinned, “This mark on my headband, is actually when you join the Hakusegi Clan but you’re from a different one.” Sakura’s mind was racing 1000 thoughts. “Why did Naruto join!” “Because Sasuke took you from him, he loves you like the world has no end, but you took it from him, now, it’s too late, I’ll train him to become the most powerful ninja known,” said Seiya. Sakura just figured out that Naruto was in love with her, all these times. Tears started falling from Sakura’s eyes, “I’m sorry Naruto! I should’ve known, all these years!” Sakura kissed him strongly and crushed Naruto’s lips with her own. Naruto’s seal on his forehead slowly disappeared. “What! This wasn’t supposed to happen! No!” His forehead’s seal vanished too. Naruto returned to his normal self, (Naruto’s mind – Huh? Sakura? She’s kissing me? This must be a dream, but I might as well not let it end) Sakura’s tongue moved slowly into his and vice versa. They kissed for about 7 minutes until they needed breath. t3h fuck?!

A Doozy of A First Step.

2006-03-09T00:24:49Z

Guten Abend! Ich heiBe ~~'The Great Sue!Ninja Hunter'~~ Ursula! I have quite the eye for a nasty ninja sue, so I decided to put this lovely journal together ala pottersues and avatar_sues. I know it doesn't look like much now, but come my Spring Break, it's gonna be pretty awesome! :D Please support my hunting, because I do it for you guys! Liebe!

Story Title: The new slut Great, I’m getting the willies already.
Culprit: YumiDarkness a repeat offender from avatar_sues! …Joy!
Summary: There's a new girl adn boy is she a slut! But she is Naruto's slut. Her name is Spencer Myouga and she has one huge secret! What is it! …damn, just… damn

Rating: Three Kunai- Near Abomination thank god it wasn’t actually finished.

Full Name(s): Spencer Myouga. I have a guy named Spencer in my World History class… I honestly believe I’d rather deal with him than this one.
Species: Sluticus Sueis
Hair: ‘She had bluish green hair that was curly and nit went to her hips’
Eyes: ‘Her eyes were the same color as her hair.’
Markings: none
Possessions: the classic ‘balls-in-a-jar’ en masse, and a rather large top… *sighs* and she’s got an AIM sn.

Origin: I might have missed it, but it isn’t mentioned.
Special Connections to Canon: *points to balls en masse comment*
Speshul Abilities: balls en masse? Big boobies? AIM!?

Personal Rants I was looking for a doozy for my first spork… boy did I find one. The only thing that really bugs me about this is that she has other characters and while they’re still mary-sues, they’re MUCH better written than this. MUCH. I actually want to call badfic-on-purpose!

Naruto decided to come to class today and boy was he happy to come.
“Class we have a new student.” Iruka sensei told everyone.
“Come on in.” He waved is hand in word to the person standing outside. The person walked in. It was a girl! Naruto found that she was very ahem large around the top area. ‘Hell yeah lets forget Sakura!’ Naruto thought. She flipped her hair around. She had bluish green hair that was curly and nit went to her hips. Her eyes were the same color as her hair. ‘Man what a slut! Ow ow!’ All the boys screamed in their heads. She was wearing a black shirt that was cut on the top so it dropped down. She was wearing a pair of white short shorts. With the traditional blue sandals. And she had the village hidden in the mist head band protector like Sakura but it was on the side if her head.
“HI!” She squealed with delight. All the guys replied.
“Hi.” Dreamily.
“Why don’t you take a seat.” Iruka sensei said.
“Where?” She asked sweetly.
“Sit next to the boy you think is the cutest.” Iruka sensei told her. All the boys sighed n disappointment thinking she would choose Sasuke. She started up the rows and looked at Sasuke and did the loser sign with her fingers and ran all the way up to where Naruto was.
“Hi I’m Spencer.” She said waving it around in excitement.
“I-i-i-i-i-i-i-.” Naruto stammered.
“Naruto.” He said after awhile. She sat down next to him. Then Iruka sensei started the lesson and after awhile Spencer had fallen asleep. Naruto poked her a couple of times. But was to late.
“Spencer of the Myouga clan!” Iruka sensei said next to her.
“I was not asleep!” She yelled bolting straight up.
“Just because you are new does not mean you can fall asleep during a lesson.” He said angrily
“Well its not my fault I already learned this stuff.” She back fired.
“Well the en be my guest and teach the class.” He said pointing at the chalk board. Spencer gladly got up and walked to the chalkboard. And actually taught the lesson. Besides everyone was paying attention and all the boys wanted to answer to impress her. But if you were paying attention to her eyes she would glance at Naruto every once in awhile. Class soon ended and everyone walked out the door.