Hey, Hellsing fandom! Look, I realize you guys are canon Nazis, but a lot of you seem to be forgetting something and trying to correct me on something that HAS no right answer.

Specifically; Alexander Anderson has NO set nationality. No seriously! When Walter is going over the information they have on Anderson, he specifically mentions that Anderson has no listed country of origin. No one knows where he came from, therefore, he has no KNOWN nationality.

Despite having no accent [or approximation of an accent as far as I know] in the original Japanese, the Dark Horse manga translation gave Anderson a thick, phonetic, Scottish brogue. I know nothing of Japanese dialects/accents, so I can't speak of his seiyu, but his dub voice actor is a native of Scotland. As far as the translators are concerned, Anderson's Scottish.

And yet, you guys persist in arguing with me in fic reviews and threads on forums that Anderson's Irish. You argue that it makes more sense regarding the religious and social politics going on in the series. And you're not wrong.

I'd engage in tl;dr about how the arguments you usually use against me to prove Anderson's Irishness fail, but I don't feel like it right now. The fact remains that canon gave him no nationality, and I'm just going with what the translators gave us.

Right or wrong, plausible or not, I like that interpretation and I'm sticking with it. I don't bother you folks who've decided to go with another interpretation, so leave my opinion alone already!

Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6
Chapters 7 & 8
Chapters 9 & 10

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( Time Wrench )

Continuing the apparent trend of rants about/involving Buffy, I have one of my own.

I don't mind seeing "the older man" or "the younger man" used once in a while, as long as it's clear. That said, in a scene with Giles and Spike (barring AUs), guess who shouldn't be referred to as "younger"?

That's right. Spike. You know, the vampire who was turned in 1880, well before Giles was born. Yeah, him.

The "man" bit doesn't even really bother me, even though Spike's not human anymore. But calling Spike younger than Giles is completely inaccurate, and I see good authors do this, too.

Please, Buffy authors, just remember that now matter how handsome James Marsters is (and I personally do think he is, mm-mm), his character is well over a hundred by the time the series rolls around. Giles? Not so much.

That is all.

<3

Edit: since this was brought up in the comments, I personally read "man" as referring to gender, not species. :)

Story Or Series Title: From Salem to Hogwarts.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: ravenclawfever (Why? Why is it always Ravenclaw?)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Silver Crouch (originally Silver Potter. James, Lily, Harry, and Silver. Nope, nothing looks at all out of place there...)
Full Species(es): Witch Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): “...long ebony black wavy hair growing all the way down to mid-back with full bangs straight across her forehead...”
Eye Color (include adjectives): “...bright emerald eyes that became a darker evergreen color indoors...”
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None so far.
Special Possessions (if any): Draco's balls, eventually.

Annoying Origin: The Pit
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's biological sister. Barty Jr.'s adoptive daughter. Draco's Romance!Sue, I'm assuming.
Annoying Special Abilities: None so far, but wait for it...
Other Annoying Traits: Has geography curled up in the fetal position, weeping.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( As you wish... )

Two mini-rants for the fanbrats.

~A few of you seem confused as to what makes an OP Sue.

"Tycan Fallon, one of the most wanted women in the Red Line, east and north blue, not to mention by the Navy as well. She has a crew which she's the captain of, and there's something else about Fallon as well. ZoloxOC SanjixOC"

There you go. Hope that helps.

As an aside, should you slap a character with the 'Water Water' fruit and say they can swim and control the entire sea I WILL slap the character with a Sue label and hit the back button. No questions asked.

~One Piece is NOT Bleach or Naruto.

That means unless you are doing a crossover, there is no miracle healing of wounds, no characters who are hundreds of years old and look 30, and no sudden clothing regeneration, and no random flying about. If you're going to pull these, be prepared to need a damn good explanation.

In the same vein, Bleach and Naruto are not One Piece, nor are they one another. Let's try to keep them separate, shall we?

Look, this whole Dawn/Faith thing seemed like a neat idea, and your fic came heavily recced, so I decided to give it a try and see how you made it work.

Desperation, depression and loneliness are not bad ways to throw an unusual couple into each other's arms, and I understand why you decided to kill off half the cast, but I don't understand why the other half is suddenly treating Dawn and Faith - especially Dawn - like strangers. They've been through so much together. If you'd taken some time to set it up properly, show that it just hurt too much for Willow and Giles etc. to talk to Dawn when Buffy was dead, or something, anything, then all would be well, but just drifting apart? So soon after Dawn lost her only remaining family, not counting Deadbeat Dad? They'd never let that happen. They are her family. They'd be there for her if they had any choice.

If removing everyone else is the only way you can think of to get your pairing together, at least have the decency to kill 'em all, instead of twisting them beyond recognition.

Can you please think before giving your OC a Japanese name? I mean, it's good to see a Japanese OC with a Japanese name, and one that's not 'Sakura' at that. It's even a plausible looking name at that.

However... '-maru' is a male name ending, '-ko' is usually a female name ending except as part of the aforementioned '-hiko'.*. Can you please remember this when giving names to your OCs?

On an only slightly related note, the Japanese see boats and ships as male. Therefore they're not likely to be referring to one using feminine pronouns.

*Corrections welcome, as always. ETA correction given by luna_hoshino and yui_hime

Well we all know how popular "Twilight" is. Love it, hate it, I don't care. I could take it or leave it, personally. To each their own.

However...

The characters and personalities thereof really ought to stay in that particular series. Having read a couple of the books, I can spot Edward-isms and Bella-isms a mile away. I'm a bit more perturbed by the Edward-isms.

Listen up, you silly fools!

Edward Cullen is not ...

- Harry, Draco, Snape, or really any of the males in the Harry Potter universe. Except maybe Cedric Diggory.
- Sasuke, Naruto, Itachi, or any of the males in Naruto either.
- Definitely not Zuko or some other males from Avatar. Dear God no.
- Not Spike from Buffy, though you are close with the vampire thing. Except Spike most certainly doesn't sparkle.
- Neither Kirk nor Spock fro Star Trek. Spock finds sparkly "vegetarian" vampires illogical.
- Not Bill from "True Blood". (Are you even old enough to watch HBO...? O_o;; )

...Or practically every other male in every other fandom except Edward Cullen himself!

I get it, you lot go gaga for this guy. But seriously, folks. When I read fic about these other series, I want to read about those characters specifically. Not Edward Cullen wearing a very well done cosplay.

Keep Edward and Bella in Twilight, and away from all the other fandoms! If I wanted to read about them I'd be reading Twilight fic!

Thank you.

Dear FF.Net Zombieland Author,

I hate to break it to you kid, but your OC is a Mary Sue and a perfect example of one, at that. (Which, btw, is not a compliment by any means.) If I have to read another review gushing about how perfect your character is, I might just gouge my own eyes out. I really can't say if it's your fault or the illiterate reviewers you have, for you to keep thinking that this character is the next best thing since sliced bread, but the truth is, she simply goes against EVERYTHING that creates a good OC.

Now I will give you the benefit of the doubt: you created her as a companion to Tallahassee who is badass in his own right. But, darling, Tallahassee is essentially a sociopath. He's got flaws that are so deeply integrated, that the thought of him having a normal relationship or treating a woman right, is laughable. He's got a temper and violence is second nature to him. Sure, he's got a very specific soft spot, but one gorgeous woman waltzing into his life isn't going to change all of that with a flick of her silky blonde hair.

*gagging noises*

Also, to address another issue with the fic, Little Rock isn't going to start calling Tallhassee and this Mary Sue, "Mom and Dad". Really, she's not. She's got Wichita as her sister, and she's old enough to pull cons - she remembers her parents, okay? She's not some young child who is so impressionable, that she would start calling strangers her parents. Little Rock is quite savvy, when it comes down to it and hell, she's a preteen, so that aspect of your story is ridiculous.

Anyway, I get what you were trying to do - your execution was just poorly thought through, which is sad. What saddens me more are the people who think your story is a GOOD story. It irks me, because I just want all Mary Sue's to be zombie fodder in the most violent way.

Dear SPN writer:

Okay, so you've got Dean dealing with some (metaphorical) demons from his childhood. Specifically, you've got him facing a man who abused him when he was a young teenager (BTW, what the hell is it with this fandom and Dean being molested as a child? Does the man not have enough angst as it is?). Now, considering that this is Dean, there are a couple of different ways he might react. He might shut down and work like a fanatic. He might try to deflect any inquiries about his mental state with wisecracks and snide commentary. He might just decide to punch the guy's lights out.

You know what he's probably not going to do? Flinch and stammer whenever the guy comes near him and then break down in floods of tears the first time Sam asks him what's wrong.

Seriously, this is Dean. The guy has more defense mechanisms than Fort Knox; he's not going to spill his guts that easily no matter how much you want to write a big sobbing catharsis.

Angst: UR DOIN IT WRONG.

Dear NCIS writer:

Their names are Abby, Ziva and McGee. Not "Abbey", "Zeva" and "Maggie".

Just saying, if you're writing a songfic for a romantic, caring, rather fluffy sex scene... I really don't think you should use "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails (AKA the "I want to fuck you like an animal") song.

Seriously, can we say Soundtrack Dissonance?

Guys. If you have a character who defines him or herself by a single trait and then introduce an OC or a character from a crossover who supersedes them, please don't expect that they'll be perfectly fine and comfortable with this. Typically, the only way that there wouldn't be some conflict there is if the first character is a saint or if the new character introduced acts as a mentor - and the first character is comfortable enough to accept them as such. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part a hint of jealousy or resentment at having been shown up is a pretty human response, even if it's only a quick flare up of emotion that soon goes away.

You want to know when this will be of particular importance though? Try when it's an issue of family. A new family member isn't going away. Their introduction chances the family dynamic to a HUGE extent, especially if you're talking about immediate family members. A new sibling, a long lost parent or child - their presence is going to have a major impact for the vast majority of people, especially if they find themselves living with the newfound family member.

And when you have a character who defines himself on his role within his family and is suddenly superseded in it? Yeah, you've got a mess just waiting to happen. Case in point, you want to know who's probably not going to happily embrace a new older brother? Dean Winchester.

Dean was suspicious enough when the concept of a potential new younger brother came up; an older brother, and especially one who tries to take care of Dean, isn't going to find an automatic acceptance. And that's not even going into how Dean would react to Sam having a new older brother all of a sudden! Dean takes his role as the older brother quite seriously and is one of the few things about himself that he takes pride in. Add to this the fact that Dean honestly seems to have no idea how to let himself be taken care of and you've got a disaster in the making.

For that matter, remember how Dean deals with conflict, especially when it's in regards to his family: he internalizes it and then he gets angry. Yes, he goes incredibly quiet when he's truly hurt, but if you look at his canon responses, that is only after he goes all the way through furious first. It could be a fascinating idea and it's actually one I'd love to read but please, guys, keep Dean IC while writing it.

In fact, please keep any character IC when adding a new sibling or parent. People aren't always thrilled to have the new addition to their family, especially if they meet as adults. Sometimes they are thrilled, but the reality of getting to know a stranger and to immediately love them as a sibling can be difficult. Sometimes that love comes along, but it's not an instantaneous event. It can happen! But like any major event that occurs within a family, it causes ripples that take work to resolve.

Hier, c'était Write-in à Lyon =D
Comme l'horaire était assez flou, je suis arrivée au Starbucks à 14h15 (passage éclair à la gare avant pour retirer les billets pour le week-end, j'ai eu l'immense privilège de me faire draguer par le gros lourd de service en prime =____= D'habitude, j'y échappe) et j'ai bien fait parce que, comme ça, j'ai pu squatter la grande table près de la prise électrique >=D
Black Wolf et Jojolafrite sont arrivées vers 15h (plus le temps de retirer leur commande donc +15min) et on a papoté, beaucoup papoté... C'était marrant parce que Black Wolf vient d'Indonésie et parle en français et en anglais (elle est plus à l'aise en anglais, semble-t-il) et Jojolafrite vient des Etats Unis alors elle aussi parlait plus anglais que français. Du coup, je comprenais, mais par réflexe et timidité je répondais en français. Mais c'était cool, on se comprenait XD Et puis, si j'avais parlé en anglais, j'aurais buté sur chaque mot ._____. (Si ma mère l'apprend, elle va m'organiser un stage survie dans un pays anglophone alors que je vais déjà faire ça avec le Japon...)
Le Tipex est arrivé vers 16h, je crois, 16h30 à la table (oui, la queue au Starbucks, c'est terrible. On a cru qu'il s'était perdu). Lui vient de Nouvelle Calédonie XD Je me suis sentie très franco-française... Et lui aussi parle bien anglais >____>
Finalement, à force de papoter, j'ai écrit que 17 mots pour le chapitre 12 de RNEB (non comptabilisés dans le total du jour parce que ça craint un peu) et 92 pour la réécriture du XO House/xxx. Les autres ont un peu plus écrit.
J'ai du mal à écrire dans ce genre d'ambiance, en fait. Enfin, si je suis seule, ça va. Je regarde alentour mais j'écris quand même (j'adore quand les gens s'aperçoivent que j'écris et que je les regarde en même temps XD c'est pourtant pas compliqué !). Si y'a des gens avec moi, c'est fini. Ils sont par définition plus intéressants que le curseur clignotant sur ma page blanche donc on papote. Et puis c'est toujours intéressant de rencontrer des gens qui viennent des quatre coins du monde (on a beaucoup parlé des différences culturelles entre Amérique du nord et la France).
Et on a fait rater son train au Tipex =D 'faut dire qu'on est sorti du Starbucks à 18h30, on est arrivé au métro à 18h40 et son train partait à 18h45. Jojolafrite lui a sauvé la mise, cela dit, donc c'est un happy end.

Bref, les Write-In, c'est bien cool mais j'avance pas et j'empêche en plus les autres d'écrire XD

Dans le même registre, bilan de la semaine 2 \o/ Comme le NaNo a commencé un dimanche, la semaine va du dimanche au samedi donc le dimanche 15 n'est pas pris en compte dans le bilan.
Total de mots : 15675, soit 731 de plus que la semaine 1. C'est pas une augmentation énorme et c'est à cause du score pourri de vendredi 13 (813 mots). Du coup, samedi 14, je me suis rattrapée avec 3763 mots, mon plus gros score du NaNo *____* J'ai passé que 2 fois la barre des 3000 mots quotidiens (les deux cette semaine).
Jusqu'à présent, ça me fait quand même 2176 mots par jour en moyenne, c'est à dire que j'écris un tiers de plus que le quota normal (1667 mots).
Je suis en bonne voie pour terminer le NaNo, cette année \o/ J'ai 7636 mots d'avance (4 jours et demi) sur le cumul théorique du 15/11 (25005), il me reste 17359 mots à écrire ! Dans mes rêves les plus fous, je termine cette semaine, voire jeudi (mais ça veut dire écrire 3x5000 mots +2400) *_______*
Cela dit, je pense que même si j'atteins les 50000 avant le 30, je continuerai jusqu'à la fin. Banzai \o/

Dearest reviewers at FF.net:

If you have a complaint or a question about the fic, would it kill you to leave a way for the author to reach you?

And with that in mind:

Dear particular reviewer:

While most teachers will tell you that redundancy within a text is something you should avoid - and they are right to a degree - there is another side to redundancy that is often ignored and it doesn't necessarily have to be bad.

It helps create a tone. Using some key words within your paragraphs and sentences will help you create a mood and a setting for a story. While it would be dangerous for a whole book to have the exact same tone because it can get boring, this can really help when it's a short story or, in this case, a one shot fic.

I'm not saying that I succeeded within the fic, but I can assure you: I repeated words constantly within the fic knowingly. I'm sorry that it didn't work for you.

However, if you mean the fact that I use the names of the characters rather than 'the blonde', 'the brunette', or thing like that, and thus the names appear rather frequently? Then I'm very, very sorry, but I'm going to keep on using names and keep the epithet to a minimum.

Dear specific Clerith writers,

The next time you write a fanfiction for Cloud and Aerith... put it under Cloud and Aerith!! I am so tired of clicking on a fanfiction that has been labeled as a Cloud and Tifa, under Romance and finding out that it's all about Cloud and Aerith. I understand the whole,"But, its main focus is on Cloud and Tifa, and how Tifa is responding to Cloud and Aerith's romantic relationship..." Yeeeeeah. The ones that I'm complaining about don't involve or mention Tifa whatsoever.

Thank you,

Me.

Umm, I'm not so sure why Nodoka would need to make a deal with Ritsu not to shut down the club just to see Yui cause really they live pretty close to each other. So as such, I do not see why she would need to threaten non-con with Ritsu. And in regards to another fic, given how Ui was serving tea for everyone in episode 3 I do not see why she'd be getting jealous of Yui's friend or her guitar.

Even when actively trying to avoid these subjects, I'm still seeing them.

( Cut for Hetalia stupid. )

So... you have a couple of characters who are good at killing the supernatural beasties out there. They know how to take down all sorts of nasties. They're also brothers- Sam and Dean Winchester.

They're experts. In their own canon.

You have another show where there are supernatural creatures that follow different rules, with people who know how to take them out. Those people are Buffy Summers and her friends.

Do everyone a favor and don't portray Sam and Dean as idiots if they encounter some creature from Buffy.

Seriously, don't. Sam and Dean are experts in their own canon. Just because what they do won't work in Buffy the Vampire Slayer world does not make them stupid.

Also, you really have to work to make those two canons mesh well. The rules for vampires, werewolves, and demons are very different. You, buddy, just make it so the Winchesters are wrong about almost everything, and they only deal with minor threats- and that's not the way to do it.

Of course, I think I've seen it done the opposite way, where the BtVS crew doesn't know what's out there, too. It's just as annoying that way, too.